Dreams are opposite of reality
We only wish for things when they are impossible
Secrets are never meant to be shared
One step forward, Three steps back.
Further back from where i started.
Without a single regret.
one too many mornings
i have woken up alone
silent night lones me
i feel so cold
i look up the stars
my eyes they start to fade
i turn back beside me
where you my love once lay
I shut my eyes tight
hoping to see you….
when i open them again…..
Have you heard of a myoclonic twitch?
Its when you are falling asleep, and your mind is wandering.
You stepped right in the middle,
outside the boundries of the sleeping, dreaming and waking.
When you are beginning to almost dream,
and the dream materializes in a brief short second.
In that brief second,
in the dream you take a step or move an arm, bat an eyelid.
In the waking,
you make the same moves and it wakes you up.
Your dream crumbles apart.
I think that is a myoclonic twitch.
least that is what i think i read.
from somewhere left forgotten.
maybe now i have woken up,
and in the dream i loved,
woke up still feeling that love..
could you have been a dream?
and this lost i am feeling,
is me missing a dream…
the twitch was my mistake.
i want to dream again.
my name is nicholas,
i died on a bad day in O-six
a black october it was,
on a sad thursday.
twenty six is a dark day,
my heart drew blood.
it exudates like tears,
flowing from the eye.
i wrote a letter love,
the day my heart drew dark.
days months years goes by,
the dark continues on.
come talk about old times,
new ones never dawn.
stuck in the past,
a frightful dream.
walking down a cold mind,
sweet memories terrifies me.
my name is nicholas,
i wake up to die again.
- The Incompleted Me
And my eyes start to bleed,
A most beautiful ruby red.
Slow motion see me let go,
The days we had,
I’ll never forget.
And my heart start to bleed,
A most beautiful ruby red.
Slow motion see me scar
The heart in me,
It’ll never be unscathed
The hole in that use to be my heart is my muse
Misery
misery is an old friend.
And it tricks you sometimes into thinking
that it’s just always gonna be there
and that you can’t be happy.
But you can, you can walk away from pain,
that was what i used to think.
And that being in love’s the best way to do it.
But I was wrong, misery is an old friend.
I just said hi to him again.
My Summer Story
this is my love story that is left unwritten and unanswered,
there are times when i really need you,
but you are just an illusion
there are times when i try to understand you,
but you refuse to let me in.
Without hesitation I buried it deep in my heart that is with you,
let my story be a secret
a story suicide kept in you.
More to come succumbing to sleeping pills. they rock.
Good Sleep Here I Come. Damn Groggy Now.
I Love Ruby I Don’t Have To Be Groggy to Know That
I Love Ruby.
I know I found the one.
But i am not the one for her. my left side gives out a constant aching.
Friends talk to me to make me feel better.
But nothing gets into my empty shell. she echos in me.
I cannot stop thinking of her. i miss her. i want her back. ruby.
there is so much i want to say to her.
i shall stop here.
This few songs by Plain White T. speaks me for.
“You and Me” - I felt this was us
You and me, we like the same kind of music
That’s why we, make a good you and me
We got style, baby we know how to use it
That’s why we, make a good you and me
You know what I’m going to say before my mouth even makes a sound
And that’s why we make a good you and me
You and me, we couldn’t stand being normal
That’s why we, make a good you and me
We both laugh, at the most random situations
That’s the key, baby don’t you agree?
You know what I’m going to say before my mouth even makes a sound
And that’s why we make a good you and me
I know from the sound of your breathing exactly what you are feeling
This is why we make a good you and me
Make a good you and me
Make a good you and me
You and me
Ah ah ah
You and me, all we need is each other
That’s why we, make a good you and me
You know what I’m going to say before my mouth even makes a sound
And that’s why we make a good you and me
I know from the sound of your breathing exactly what you are feeling
This is why we make a good you and me
Make a good you and me
Make a good you and me
You and me
“Hate (I Really Don’t Like You)” - extract from the song may speak of how she feels for me now,
Hate is a strong word
But i really, really, really don’t like you
Now that it’s over
I don’t even know what I liked about you
Brought you around and you just brought me down
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really don’t like you
I really don’t like you
“Come Back To Me” - - this is the only thing i want now and wish for.
Everything you say or do
I am always there for you
Whether you’re laughing or you’re screaming
No one else could take your place
I will always see your face
When I’m awake and when I’m dreaming
Cause I believe there’s a place for you and me in this crazy world
If you come running back to me I’ll be here waiting
Cause I still believe in a love worth saving
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
Come back to me, I’ll be here waiting
Cause I’m on my knees and my love’s not fading
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
I can’t stand to watch you go
Cause in my head deep down I know
I don’t wanna live without you
I love the way we stay up late
The way you laugh at your mistakes
I love everything about you
Cause I believe there’s a place for you and me in this crazy world
If you come running back to me I’ll be here waiting
Cause I still believe in a love worth saving
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
Come back to me, I’ll be here waiting
Cause I’m on my knees and my love’s not fading
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
No, don’t wanna let you go
Girl, you belong in my heart, in my arms, in my bed
Girl, quit messing with my head
Say that you’re coming back to stay right here with me
If you come running back to me I’ll be here waiting
Cause I still believe in a love worth saving
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
Come back to me, I’ll be here waiting
Cause I’m on my knees and my love’s not fading
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
Come back to me
I still believe
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
Come back to me
I’m on my knees
If you could see the sad look on my face
You’d be in your car headed back to my place
I always felt Paul McCartney’s “This Never Happen Before” Was Our Song and Belle And Sebastian was our Band.
i miss you ruby
I am fortunate to come across a video titled “Peace vs War”, shame to say i was looking for the video for a lesser purpose. Emotional purpose. The Song By Death Cab For Cutie titled “Transatlanticism”. Something that suits my mood. My melancholy soul. The music video shows todays polical, personal and the world issues we have today. From it we realize about all the talk about the world becoming smaller and smaller through the progress of technology. But what has technology brought about. Weapons of Mass Destruction. To protect ourselves. Protect others. But are some over doing it. I cannot judge. I do not stand where they are right now. I do not make the life changing decisions that they do. I do not think for the billions and billions around the world. But from a personal view point. Using of force and technology is hindering progress. The fighting will never end. People fighting for their rights, their inheritance. But what is left of it. If you keep fighting for it. Nothingness. What about the innocents who want to live out their lives peacefully. No do not execrise the power to fight for their rights. Just the bare minimum strength to fight for their survival. Picking up what is left around them. Nothingness. Information. Media. Has made the world smaller. True. But what do we see. Suffering on the news everyday. True. There is good news. But sometimes we see only what we want to see. What is the use of becoming a smaller world where the barrier between us is getting greater. I am but a voice. I write this with shame because when i came over this video and song. Then I feel the sudden lost for the people who aren’t as lucky as i am. I know it will disappear as my life carries on. It will be kept somewhere deep in my heart and mind. And I choose to hear what i want to hear and see what i choose to see again. So now i speak. And I write. With no strength to change the situation. Not dreaming that this post will cause or stir the world in anyway. But to serve as a reminder to myself that i do feel this way. There is this compassionate me. We all have this compassionate side of us. We just need to let it out. Embrace each other. The world is already big and seperated by the Boundaries. Believes and maybe many things that i do not know.
forgive the incoherentness in the way i write or my broken english…
Penned On 9th of July 2 thousand 6.
at eleventh hour fifteen minute
This is the song.
Artist: Death Cab For Cutie
Song: Transatlanticism
Album: Transatlanticism
the atlantic was born today and i’ll tell you how:
the clouds above opened up and let it out.
I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
when the water filled every hole.
and thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
making islands where no island should go.
oh no.
those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
the rhythm of my footsteps crossing flood lands to your door have been silenced forever more.
the distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
it seems farther than ever before
oh no.
I need you so much closer (x8)
I need you so much closer (x4)
so come on, come on (x4)
Today certain events has lead me to feel awfully blue. People say you think too much. They tell you that you are being over dramatic. But whats wrong with feeling truthful with yourself. After all the other person is also feeling truthful with their own feeling. Its a feeling where you know you are not the one. No matter what you do, how hard you tried its of no use. It has to be someone of significane in order to bring about a change in that person. else you are just a passing stranger in the crowd or simply an acquintance on a normal day whom you would only bother when the need arises. When you feel blue because you see the little things, when you bother to go and think of every alternative, every possible reason for a particular action, that is when you know you love someone because you are already hurting without being hurt.
this song reflects what you might feel like doing. as i too. feel like it sometimes.
Coffee & Cigarettes - Michelle Featherstone
I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday
I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you
I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you
I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you
I must quit, I must quit, you
